An Expat Christmas in Mexico

The holidays can be sort of annoying when you’re a solo traveler. At least in my situation, I am very far from the people I love, even though that is a result of a conscious decision on my part. Out on my own is where I choose to be.

Even so, this point is only rubbed in with a little salt when I get on Facebook and email and the only thing people talk about (besides shopping) is that the holidays are really just about being with the people you love.

I don’t disagree at all. There is something about this time of year that inspires nostalgia and a yearning to belong, to be loved, which is why so many make the annual pilgrimage back to their homes.

To me, this means one single thing: I better love myself a lot to trust that I am right where I need to be right now, which essentially is “alone” during this holiday season. I have come far. I never would have been able to handle being alone last Christmas.

I moved to Loreto only three weeks ago. Every friendship I have here is brand new. I chose not to make the pilgrimage to the snowy mountains up north where the rest of my family would be congregating for the holiday, so I prepared to spend my first Christmas alone.

Even though I hoped I’d be invited to Christmas dinner somewhere, I was okay with facing the very real possibility that I would not do anything with anyone on Christmas Day. You know what helps with that? Palm trees and sunshine.

Here in Loreto I live in an apartment that is part of a small complex with four units, all inhabited by other expats. As it turns out, some of them were heading to a Christmas dinner party at another expat’s house, and a few days ago, I got an invite. It felt good to have a plan for Christmas dinner, and even more so to be included in a community where I was surely the newest addition.

On Christmas Day, I awoke just after sunrise and walked one block to the sea to watch the waves and pelicans for a while. Back at home, I did yoga and had a slow breakfast, exchanging Christmas greetings with friends and family online. My front door was open, letting the sunshine and warmth fill my apartment. I never would have been able to do that with the cold up north.

In the late afternoon, I joined my neighbor to walk one block to the Christmas party. Outside on the back patio of the house, I found the biggest Christmas dinner table I have ever been invited to, adorned in red table cloths, garland, ornaments, candles, and wine. There were at least 16 place settings.

Dinner was a potluck. Guests had prepared prime rib, mashed potatoes and an assortment of sides and desserts. It was a feast that we shared with nonstop conversation. We were all from different places in the US and Canada, and everyone had stories to tell.

Seriously, you get that many expats together and you could settle in for a long night of storytelling. These people are fascinating. And the conversations we had were so appropriate to the setting. We talked about visas, border crossings, where to buy the best meat in town, the struggle of how having grandchildren up north changes everything, if anyone knew where in town to find dark chocolate and good wine, how to fix your air conditioning with a coat hanger, how some of the local stores had changed over the years, and we even had a table-wide conversation about ovens for a whole ten minutes.

When we realized that, we simply laughed at ourselves. #thirdworldproblems

Not once did the conversation turn negative. I laughed and I learned from these people I had just met. I had known absolutely no one at the table for longer than about two weeks, and many of them had just met for the first time as well. Yet here we all were, gathered around a beautiful table in Loreto, Mexico, on Christmas Day.

These are my people. This was my kind of Christmas.

The notion that I would have felt lonely feels so distant now. I am grateful to be in a place that is so comfortable, that has accepted me, invited me, and nourished me with people, sunshine, and of course, delicious food. And once again, I am grateful that I listened to myself and decided to stay here for Christmas, because it truly is right where I want to be.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays to you. I hope that wherever you are is right where you want to be, and if it’s not, a new year is coming…