On December 31st, 2016, a few hours before the clock struck midnight, I sat by myself in my studio apartment in Baja, Mexico and started a New Year tradition that I have kept ever since.
The Cleanse
Through a series of synchronistic conversations in the days and weeks prior to that New Year’s Eve, I identified the fact that I was unable to acknowledge the coming new year. I realized it was because I had some major blockages in my current and past life that I needed to let go of, or rather, I needed them to let go of me, to get out of my way, so that I could see this new year as a new beginning.
Deep breath. This was going to be scary and hard.
I spent the last few hours of 2016 writing letters. To myself, to 2016, to people, places, and things in my life that I had something to say to. Letters not to be sent physically, just spiritually. I let it out. I said it all. I cried, a lot.
But when I finished, the tears simply stopped. Somewhere inside, walls had been torn down during those hours of writing and processing, facing darkness, acknowledging, saying goodbye, and letting go.
I felt like I had cleared a path to actually see forward. And I could look to 2017 without getting inexplicably shaky in my entire body, in fact, I even felt hopeful. The recent “season” had been a dark time for me, but I saw sunshine coming in 2017, so I chose to leave the walls down and set my course for sunshine.
For the record, it totally worked.
Because I had such a positive experience through this letter writing practice on New Year’s Eve, which I call “The Cleanse,” I’ve continued to do it every New Year since. As it turns out, I have something to say to someone, or something, every year, and it feels good to allow myself space and permission to say it, positive or negative, whatever it may be. I let it out, so I can move forward.
My Word
That night was also the first time I decided to choose a word for the year. I wanted that sunshine, I was depleted by the darkness. So my chosen word for 2017 was “Ramp Up.” I was tired of living in the shadow of life I had somehow crawled into. I was ready to step out into the light and make changes, even though I knew it would burn in places.
I did ramp up in 2017. I set myself on a completely new course, one that eventually led to great successes for me, in both my business and personal life.
For 2018, my word for the year was Design, and for 2019, my word was Balance. I’m still in love with these words, as they have helped me stay the course and move me closer to where I want to be. You don’t ever really let these words go once they are yours and play such a big role in your life, you continue to carry them with you.
Our current reality is a result of the decisions we make. Each year, I try to align my moves and decisions with my word, which represents an ultimate goal, putting me closer to the reality I want for myself. Towards the end of each year, a new word will inevitably stand out to me as what I seem to be lacking in my current reality, and what I can then make my focus for the next year.
As I finished writing my letters this year, I sat for several minutes in reflection. I felt relaxed. I felt a sense of stability I haven’t felt in… well… ever. #truth
Stability. The word kept coming to me. Then I put it together. My word for 2019 was balance. Balance – what I craved at the beginning of 2019. Stability – what I’m feeling at the end…
Chills. This shiz works, people.
My Word for 2020
In 2019 I experienced several… “projects” we’ll call them, that, after some time, had to be majorly course-corrected, the energy for which could have been saved altogether had I simply made a better choice at the beginning.
The worst part is, I had flashes of negative gut feelings for each one of these projects at the very beginning, that I blatantly chose not to listen to. #palmtoforehead
In hindsight, looking back at the outcomes of said projects, had I listened to my gut and not engaged, I would have avoided each one of the projects, freeing up my time and energy for something that is a “HELL YES” for me, instead of just a “hmm, this could work.”
I totally understand trial and error, I get it (hello, #entrepreneur). But I also believe that life is short, and there is approximately zero extra time or energy to waste on anything that isn’t a HELL-freaking-YES!
So, this year I’m enlisting hindsight to work its 2020 magic. I’m going to give a lot more attention to my gut feelings and my hell yeses.
While “Hell Yes” or even “No” would both make a brilliant words for the year, I’ve chosen to use a word I’ve always liked: “Discernment” which means, “the ability to judge well.” Hell. Yes. To that.
Since I’m also practicing celebrating my wins (like, not just proverbially), I’m literally taking a moment right now (pictured below) to open a delicious dark beer and cheers to myself. Here’s to leveraging my newfound stability to harness discernment and make good choices in the coming year. #onward
What is your word for 2020? Be bold, own your word, say it out loud, declare it to the universe, like, in the comments below if you want.
Happy New Year from me in my cozy home in Montana to you, wherever you are in the world, may you feel lots of sunshine in 2020 and… make good choices!
